If you had to write a book called flirtation there would be an entire chapter dedicated to the push-pull. Push-pull is a series of behaviours every naturally good with black women guy does unconsciously to flirt. After reading this article pay attention to how your “natural” freinds behave around black women they like and see if you can spot how often guys unknowingly use push-pull to heat up their interactions with women.
STEP 1) PUSH
Take her phone and refuse to give it back because it’s yours now, ignore her when she wants attention, when she asks you for something trivial respond with a loud “no”. Give her a general hard time when she tries to talk to you. Push her away playfully in some way.
STEP 2) STAY IN CONTROL
The biggest mistake guys make with push-pull is they lose control of the situation too quickly to allow any real tension to build up between them and the women. The key behind push-pull is the slow build up of sexual tension which will immediately disappear if you give away your power to the women. Some common ways I’ve seen guys do this include.
- - Apologizing/Explaining: So you just pushed her away with a comment about her hair and she looks pissed. If you apologize you accept blame on your part for making the comment, instead of communicating that the blame should be on her for not having a sense of humor. This way she either has to shape up to your expectations or get out, displaying your dominance. When you try to explain why your comment isn’t so bad you do the same thing and show a lack of confidence in what you say. If you’ve miscalibrated and you’ve really hurt her feelings then do apologize but make the distinction between being a dick and being flirtatious.
- - Paying too much attention to it : Some guys ruin the tension by making it obvious what they’re doing. They make fun of something she said and then start to bring it up over and over again. Push her away and then continue the interaction as if you didn’t, the more you ignore the fact that you’ve pushed her away the more tension it’s going to build as she tries to get back on your good side.
- - Seeking a reaction : Some times you’ll have to tease her three or four times before you pull, sometimes she wont let you know whats going on in her head and you just have to know when to stop to avoid being a jerk. But this will come with time and step 4. You shouldn’t be openly seeking a reaction from her, the more your push-pulls are varied and random the more she’s going to feel you’re a challenge and the more fun shes going to have trying to get you to be nice to her. If your push-pulls rely on her reactions to move along they’re going to become predictable quickly and she’s going to notice that shes actually the one in control.




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